Thoughts on Fighting

Where I wish I could go when you fight with me.

Where I wish I could go when you fight with me.

Somedays when you try your best to connect to the world outside of your thoughts, the ones you care to reach the most are the ones who most misconstrue your meaning. How can a statement about wanting someone not to create a situation in which doubt is present be conflated with the blanket assumption that relationships between men and women cannot be strictly platonic? A situation of comfort so that growth can be accepted should be the default. But why do people make their default situation based on the violence of bad encounters and do not allow for opportunities to revisit heated issues? A sore topic can cause issues in a relationship and obstinance only makes the sore issue hurtful. A partner’s inability to measure and react to the situation at hand greatly hinders the progress of relationship growth. Part of growing up in your relationship means that you have to accept that your partner does not want you to be miserable and if you find that you are compromising in an understandable manner but you have failed to properly convey your feelings, then someone did not listen to someone or someone was not as clear as he or she could have been. The breakdown in communication and subsequent refusal to pay attention to attempts to reconcile create lasting toxicity. When one partner cannot separate the feelings that he or she assigned to the other partner based on an assumption rather than anything that the other partner actually said, then that partner will create strain on the relationship. Playing the blame game is also not very useful. I wonder what goes on in people’s heads when they try to play the blame game? Every fight or argument or disagreement has two sides. Everyone is to blame. Fighting should be about compromise and not about who is right and who is wrong. If your partner presents you with a compromise that you find unacceptable, you owe your relationship’s survival to finding out why your partner feels the way that he or she does and you owe an explanation for why you disagree with the compromise as proposed by your partner and if you want to continue to work on refining points or changing points in your partner’s compromise then do so if you want to keep your relationship. If you and your partner cannot agree on a compromise, then you both have to agree to the fact that you can make no compromise and then let the cards fall where they may. Two people who cannot compromise and respect each other’s boundaries and feelings should not be together because they will continue to butt heads on issues since they cannot compromise.


About FreeFlowingThoughts

All of the writing is original and some of the drawings are too. I do these as a form of stress relief and to share my work with others. मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ / पल दो पल मेरी कहानी है / पल दो पल मेरी हँसती है / पल दो पल मेरी जवानी है / मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ...मुझ से पहले कितने शायर आये और आकर चले गये / कुछ आहें भरकर लौट गये / कुछ नग़मे गाकर चले गये / वे भी एक पल का हिस्सा थे / मैं भी एक पल का हिस्सा हूँ / कल तुम से जुदा हो जाऊँगा तो आज तुम्हारा हिस्सा हूँ / मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ...कल और आयेंगे नग़मों की खिलती कलियाँ चुननेवाले / मुझ से बेहतर कहनेवाले / तुझ से बेहतर सुननेवाले / कल कोई मुझ को याद करे / क्यूँ कोई मुझ को याद करे? / मसरूफ़ ज़माना मेरे लिये क्यूँ वक्त अपना बरबाद करे? / मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ। (कभी कभी से १९७६) I am a poet for a moment or two/My story is for a moment or two/My laughter is for a moment or two/My youth is for a moment or two/I am a poet for a moment or two...Before me, many poets came and left/Some were burdened with sighs and returned from where they came/Some sang songs before leaving/They were part of a moment/I, too, am part of a moment/Tomorrow I may be separated from you/But today I am a part of you/I am a poet for a moment or two...Tomorrow more song will come like blooming flower buds to choose from/There may be better storytellers than me/There may be better listeners than you/Tomorrow someone may remember me/Why would anyone remember me?/Why would this busy world waste time for my sake?/I am (only) a poet for a moment or two. (From Kabhie Kabhie 1976) [Translation is not word-for-word.]
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