When I think you behave unjustly

You caused the pain by throwing the first stone

You destroyed the foundation that you were standing on

If you think you are entitled to so much privacy,

Why be in a live-in relationship?

Why express that you want me to think of this as mine,

When you’re married to your privacy?

An omission of information is still a lie;

You can call it sweet names all you want,

But with-holding information can be as bad as lying:

If I went out with someone behind your back,

Lied to you, and kept lying about it

Until you saw clear proof I was lying,

Would you try to work things out?

You betrayed me because you felt like I didn’t trust you,

But you kept half of your feelings closed in your chest;

How could I know that you were hurting

When you wouldn’t open your mouth to say anything?

You want to say that it was my fault you lied,

Want to blame me for not being good to you,

Want to defend yourself,

And talk about integrity,

But a person with such quality

Seeks not scapegoats,

For he would not lie

Even if he were being forced to;

You weren’t in duress

When you chose to be shady;

You wanted me gone but could not say it;

Your cowardice in facing your feelings

Is hardly my fault or responsibility,

Yet I’m here bearing the massive load you dropped

Because I think you have something worth it,

But every time you behave as though you are appalled

That your honesty is being questioned

When I can’t understand

Why my phone says one thing

And you say something else;

A stormy year has passed since you broke my trust

Do you really think it’s regained so soon?

With such a poor attitude?

Your inclinations toward secrecy

Still jar my freshly wounded heart

Had you been forthright,

I could have been less severe,

But you lied to me for almost half a year,

If the matter were as simple as you claim,

Why couldn’t  you, with your self-proclaimed integrity,

Come clean and faced the consequences?

Why did you trick me and hurt me so much?

Why do you continue to tear at my heart?

You think that I hurt you and don’t consider you

But what right have you to be considered when you didn’t consider me

You’ve been selfish and want to stubbornly cling

To your perceived notions of privacy and secrets

If that is your game, then I can no longer play

You must leave me be–

Bleeding and hurting,

Jaded and alone.

Advertisements

About FreeFlowingThoughts

All of the writing is original and some of the drawings are too. I do these as a form of stress relief and to share my work with others. मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ / पल दो पल मेरी कहानी है / पल दो पल मेरी हँसती है / पल दो पल मेरी जवानी है / मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ...मुझ से पहले कितने शायर आये और आकर चले गये / कुछ आहें भरकर लौट गये / कुछ नग़मे गाकर चले गये / वे भी एक पल का हिस्सा थे / मैं भी एक पल का हिस्सा हूँ / कल तुम से जुदा हो जाऊँगा तो आज तुम्हारा हिस्सा हूँ / मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ...कल और आयेंगे नग़मों की खिलती कलियाँ चुननेवाले / मुझ से बेहतर कहनेवाले / तुझ से बेहतर सुननेवाले / कल कोई मुझ को याद करे / क्यूँ कोई मुझ को याद करे? / मसरूफ़ ज़माना मेरे लिये क्यूँ वक्त अपना बरबाद करे? / मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ। (कभी कभी से १९७६) I am a poet for a moment or two/My story is for a moment or two/My laughter is for a moment or two/My youth is for a moment or two/I am a poet for a moment or two...Before me, many poets came and left/Some were burdened with sighs and returned from where they came/Some sang songs before leaving/They were part of a moment/I, too, am part of a moment/Tomorrow I may be separated from you/But today I am a part of you/I am a poet for a moment or two...Tomorrow more song will come like blooming flower buds to choose from/There may be better storytellers than me/There may be better listeners than you/Tomorrow someone may remember me/Why would anyone remember me?/Why would this busy world waste time for my sake?/I am (only) a poet for a moment or two. (From Kabhie Kabhie 1976) [Translation is not word-for-word.]
This entry was posted in Anger, Poetry and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s