Pain complex

My heart feels like it is bleeding profusely. My breath strangles me as I suffer to stay tears that will not stop
Piercing pain sears my sturnum making breathing difficult; I am difficult. Parched throat, sleepless eyes, body broken, spirit dead
Laid bare exposed being picked to shreds as the unforgiving sun rises in eastern skies
Forced in ever silent mourning, the pain that lips could not utter
Dare not utter, for years and years, compounded
Always coquetry, never a commitment
Am I doomed to be single and carry the black-hole like void where my love used to be?
When will this excess finally submerge me, isn’t this the boundary for one lifetime. How much more pain can my weak breast bear?
How much anguish before I break?
How many disappointments and crushed dreams can I take
Before myself I am lost to myself, do I really recognize me?
The massive wounds, the deep gouges, pound of flesh presented always. Only so much left before the spirit releases
Only so much before I’m ethereal, fading into ephemeral space, fading fading into obsidian surges
Until at last the reaper’s soothing touch decays all rights and memory’s bitter touch.
The happy place returned to at last, there to stay for a brief respite. Then back again on the painstaking journey
Hoping this time to find the illusive light.

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About FreeFlowingThoughts

All of the writing is original and some of the drawings are too. I do these as a form of stress relief and to share my work with others. मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ / पल दो पल मेरी कहानी है / पल दो पल मेरी हँसती है / पल दो पल मेरी जवानी है / मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ...मुझ से पहले कितने शायर आये और आकर चले गये / कुछ आहें भरकर लौट गये / कुछ नग़मे गाकर चले गये / वे भी एक पल का हिस्सा थे / मैं भी एक पल का हिस्सा हूँ / कल तुम से जुदा हो जाऊँगा तो आज तुम्हारा हिस्सा हूँ / मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ...कल और आयेंगे नग़मों की खिलती कलियाँ चुननेवाले / मुझ से बेहतर कहनेवाले / तुझ से बेहतर सुननेवाले / कल कोई मुझ को याद करे / क्यूँ कोई मुझ को याद करे? / मसरूफ़ ज़माना मेरे लिये क्यूँ वक्त अपना बरबाद करे? / मैं पल दो पल का शायर हूँ। (कभी कभी से १९७६) I am a poet for a moment or two/My story is for a moment or two/My laughter is for a moment or two/My youth is for a moment or two/I am a poet for a moment or two...Before me, many poets came and left/Some were burdened with sighs and returned from where they came/Some sang songs before leaving/They were part of a moment/I, too, am part of a moment/Tomorrow I may be separated from you/But today I am a part of you/I am a poet for a moment or two...Tomorrow more song will come like blooming flower buds to choose from/There may be better storytellers than me/There may be better listeners than you/Tomorrow someone may remember me/Why would anyone remember me?/Why would this busy world waste time for my sake?/I am (only) a poet for a moment or two. (From Kabhie Kabhie 1976) [Translation is not word-for-word.]
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